Reminiscence Bump

A mother gives you a life, a mother-in-law gives you her life

Recently we lost my mother in law due to multiple organ failure. The loss was a quick one, but we are sure she is surrounded by lots of love, healing and peace. My husband and his family members were with her during her last moments, we flew to attend the last rites. We were received cordially but I missed seeing my mother in law who would always come out into the green spaces of the house to welcome us. After we settled down, we went to her room. The room was a cosy one and had been rearranged. I stared at the empty wooden framed cot carved with a strongly raised headboard, she would often rest and sleep here. Close to the cot was the old wooden table that we had used for ironing our clothes. Today it was covered with a pale white tablecloth with printed green and yellow flowers. At the end of the table were two photographs mounted in maroon and gold lacquered frames. One was my father in law’s and the other was of my mother in law and father in law after their retirement. There was a brass plate with a lamp mounted on it, a matchbox close to it was symbolic of heavenly beings.

My memories went back to the times when my mother in law would often rest on the cot when she would feel tired. When she would see any of us around, she would smilingly enquire, “did you have your breakfast, do you want some tea?”

As a young bride, my summer vacations were spent with my in-laws and family in Kerala. My husband and I lived and worked in Mumbai then. The winter vacations were meant for my father and siblings in Hyderabad. In addition to these, many of our weekends were spent at Matunga with my father in law’s sister whom we call ‘Akka’. I was also pursuing my higher education as a part-timer from Ruia College in Mumbai. This was close to Matunga.

The schedule in Mumbai was always a busy one and a vacation in Kerala was welcoming. The days in Kerala would begin with every one of us contributing our share of work towards breakfast and lunch. My mother in law would cook a variety of things. It was like a cooking spree. Breakfast would be idli, ittu, puttu, appam, kozhukattai or dosas with chutney, sambhar, edgai. The lunch would include Walwal, Gassi and many other Konkani vegetarian fares, evenings were filled with spicy crunchy snacks like bhajia, Wadas, Pazham-pori, Bonda, Unniappam, Ulli-vada, Elayappam and so on. We would end it with a light dinner. My husband’s family is a large one and sometimes we were almost fifteen people at home during the vacations.

My mother in law would learn to cook something new each visit. She would call all of us to watch while making it and ask us to learn it. We would all help her in our own ways but she was our leader, we used to call her ‘Amma’. Ingredients were often measured and cooked to avoid failures as the food was for many people. The maid Kalyani and others would also get a large portion of breakfast with Kattamkapi(black coffee). We would stand around and watch Amma cook till it was ready, and then we would stretch our hands to taste it as soon as she would finish cooking the new dish.

During one of the visits, Amma told us that she had seen the cook prepare Mysore Pak during the wedding of a close relative. She said, ‘It is simple, I have tried making it and it turned out to be perfect’. I was eager and wanted to know everything about Mysore Pak. It is a favourite sweetmeat made out of gram flour, sugar and clarified butter. It is a dish that was created for the first time in the Palace of Mysore during the reign of Mummadi Krishnaraja Wodeyar.

My mother would cook Mysore Pak on all special occasions. I remember her asking me every birthday as to what I wanted to make my day special. I would always ask for Mysore Pak. The year she left us she cooked Mysore Pak for the last time on my birthday. I hadn’t asked her that year.

That afternoon, Amma took me to the wooden chest in the room adjacent to the kitchen. The chest was a typical Kerala rice chest, it had space for storing rice, lentils and many others. She carefully opened the chest and sought the gram flour. She then picked sugar and clarified butter.

She began making the sweetmeat adding sugar to the measured volume of water in the pan and heating it to a stringed sugary syrup to which she added the gram flour and ladles of hot clarified butter. The syrup had to be churned several times, we all took turns and handed it to Amma when the final churn had to be made before rolling it out into a greased plate. The dish was ready in 15 minutes and we had the best Mysore Pak. It was crumbly, sweet and delicious just as my mother used to make. I put a bite into my mouth and looked at Amma in gratitude. It had ushered memories of my mother, the delicious Mysore Pak was satiation for our souls.

A few days after I reached Mumbai, I tried making Mysore Pak for the first time in my life. It turned out to be excellent. I tried it for my siblings in Hyderabad. The brick kind of Mysore Pak was always the best. The pieces were tricoloured with small differences in the shades of yellow depicting great professionalism. My sisters, brother and my sister in law would often watch me make it. They would try but they were never able to make it well. I was equipped with my mother in law’s formula, the right ratio of ingredients and the blessings of my mother. My siblings would make an error in turning the mixture out earlier than the required time or later, but the Mysore Pak that I made was the best. My nieces and my son adore me for the ability to this day. My mother loved me a lot, perhaps Amma had been a divine soul to fulfil her wish of helping me make Mysore Pak. I have never stopped making Mysore Pak but hereafter I will add gratitude and my love for my beautiful mother and Amma for teaching me the art…