Having a Sense of Joy is a Sign of Courage

“It does not matter how long you are spending on the earth, how much money you have gathered or how much attention you have received. It is the amount of positive vibration you have radiated in life that matters,”― Amit Ray,

It was a festive time in India and every home was well lit with lights. The smell of savouries filled the air. The Pandemic seemed to have been forgotten. Fear, loss, and pain have been laid to rest. The market on the square was filled with groceries and food. The sale was larger than expected. Ayesha began to walk to the grocery store in a haze to buy the normal supplies. There were lots of shops on the pavement. The shops sold candles, Diya, trinkets, savouries, footwear and many others. This place was closest to Ayesha’s tenement. Things were getting back to normal for her despite all she had been through this year.

Ayesha hailed from Hyderabad’s old city. The lanes and bylanes that lead to the Charminar, the churi bazaar, and gullies were among her favourites. She had a large family of siblings and cousins, and nothing could stop her happiness until the fateful day her mother died. Ayesha’s mother, Fatima, used to work in homes and provide little assistance to the family. Her demise was felt in her absence and the loss of additional income. As a child, Ayesha and her siblings attended the local school and learned Arabic at the Madrasa.

Ayesha’s father, Ali, felt lost after being separated from his wife. Their poverty and pain reminded him that they needed a better life. He felt Mumbai, the land of dreams, would provide a better livelihood. He also had another reason for moving to Mumbai. Ayesha’s mother was from Pune. Hence, Maharashtra was close to Ali’s heart. Mumbai was a much better place to earn a living than Hyderabad, so he moved there. It was not hostile to migrants and there were plenty of jobs, but the living spaces were very small. Ayesha and her siblings adapted quickly to the new environment. The bright lights in the city made life harsh; they had to work hard in houses to earn money. They eventually grew up. They had learned to earn a living without formal education.

Ayesha met her husband Rehman and was married off to settle down in Central Mumbai. God was extraordinarily kind to Ayesha, she was blessed with four daughters before having a son. After that, she had another son. They had half a dozen children and lived in an independent apartment near the metro station. In spite of the small house, it was overloaded with all the things needed for a large family. In the summer, they used to sleep outside, but after hearing that some people sleeping outside had been killed by a night rider, they began to sleep inside. The house had a terrace, so they could sleep on the terrace in the summer. As time went by, the girls grew up. Ayesha and Ali tried their best to educate them. They learned some computing skills and found jobs. Ayesha kept saving money to get her daughters married while working in homes as a maid. As they were all pretty like Ayesha, they started getting married quickly. The wedding didn’t end her poverty as every Diwali her girls returned to deliver a baby. It was more of a nuisance as the homes where she worked grumbled at her absence.

Ayesha carried a cheer with her wherever she went. Although the homes she worked for were busy with large families like hers, she never complained. The children loved her smile. One such home was Neela’s, where their granddaughter Harsha was three years old. She adored Ayesha. The moment Ayesha rang the bell, Harsha would pull Neela to the door and not let Ayesha in until she waved her legs about and flaunted her chappals. Harsha would clap her hands and roll her eyes in appreciation, but as soon as Ayesha leaned to leave her slippers aside, Harsha would giggle and nod her head sideways in disapproval. This went on for months.

Each day, Ayesha would look into her sparse collection of chappals because she wanted to show Harsha something new. Ayesha used to climb up the window sill to dry clothes and Harsha would quickly throw the clothes. Ayesha would grab the clothes one by one as Harsha threw them and hang them on the clothesline. They played this game for a year. It was a good situation for both of them since Ayesha would have had to bend and pick the clothes, which would have slowed her pace of work.

Harsha would run behind Ayesha while she mopped, swept, and chatted constantly. Ayesha was motherly and her voice had a soothing effect on Harsha.

Ayesha had to stay at home for months during the Pandemic. She could not afford the tuition fees for her sons without a job, the schools charged almost the same amount. However, those paying tuition could enroll in online classes. Ayesha let her sons drop out of school. As the boys began looking for work, they couldn’t find anything. Fortunately, Neela called her back after a few months. Her work routine had changed. After entering, Ayesha had to use a sanitiser. Before she could begin her work, she had to wear a surgical mask and wash herself. An apron-like gown was also provided to her. While wearing the apron, she worked and finished the chores. She continued to speak lovingly to Harsha despite the pandemic.

Ayesha found greater despair with the boys not attending school every time she reached home. Eventually, they began trimming the branches of the roadside trees to assist the municipal authorities. As always, one of her married daughters sought her help in giving birth to her child. Neela would often ask Ayesha, “You had a grandchild last Diwali, didn’t you?”? Ayesha would reply calmly, ‘That was the second daughter, this is the third for her second child.’

Pre-Diwali cleaning was the most hectic today, with almost every house being cleaned. It was time for a spring cleaning of her own house, but she was tired at the end of the day. She was not bothered by work, but Harsha had stopped speaking to her for the past few days. Ayesha’s response when Harsha asked her to swing her feet and show her chappals upset Harsha. On that day, Ayesha’s feet were covered with dust, and her chappal was white and puckered. Harsha stopped talking for the first time. She was determined to gain Harsha’s approval. In order to make her feet appear more attractive, she decided to buy a new pair of chappals. Also, she decided to moisten her feet with coconut oil.

Ayesha arrived late to the pavement store that sold footwear and began browsing the chappals on display. While there was various footwear like bellies, wedges, flats, and comforters, Ayesha also had to manage money. The vendor harped on, ``Buy one get one free offer just for today”. Her plan was to buy a golden laced pair of chappals that fit her budget and so she would get a brown pair for free. A pair of cute golden slippers for a three-year-old caught her eye when she decided. She knew Harsha would love them. In addition, she was reminded that happiness comes more from giving than from receiving. It prompted her to pick the golden chappal for Harsha and look at it once more, visualising her happiness. Harsha would also adore her golden laced chappals when she waved them in the air, but Ayesha picked her brown chappals and Harsha’s golden chappals as a freebie and walked to the billing counter…

Happiness is something that you develop over time, with your actions, thoughts, feelings, connections, and experiences everyday — David Paul”